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Benjamin Scott - Owl Lantern's avatar

I’ve been thinking about this question quite a bit lately, and I’m not sure the need to belong necessarily requires the desire to belong to a conventional community.

I wonder whether part of the difficulty is how broadly we define belonging. Someone can resist groups, institutions, movements, and even the expectations that come with community while still having a handful of relationships, intellectual connections, places, traditions, or even conversations that quietly perform the same function.

That makes your question at the end especially interesting to me. If someone believes they have flourished without community, does that actually challenge the idea that humans need belonging? Or does it suggest that we sometimes fail to recognize belonging when it doesn’t look like the version we were taught to expect?

There’s also something fascinating about resistance itself. Defining yourself against a community still places that community somewhere in the architecture of your identity. You may reject its membership, but it remains part of the landscape against which you understand yourself.

Really enjoyed this. Your final question is one of those that becomes considerably harder the longer you think about it.

Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.'s avatar

Ah, the life-long hunt for a suitable community! I love the way your essay touches (and goes deeper into) the whole idea and what that means for those of us who never felt we quite fit into the usual sorts of communities. Oddly, your search is a tiny bit reassuring to me, because if you, such a brilliant essayist, with your amazing way with words and the honors bestowed on you, haven't had an easy time of it, well, then my own efforts don't mean I'm hopeless. My hunt may be, but I'm not. So thank you, again, Rebecca.

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